When the Stone turns to Bread
Nephi knew that his preaching would bring many people to Christ, and he rejoiced. He was called to the work. He started preaching, and became very good, and God said, “No, it’s not the preaching.” Nephi was bummed. He wished he didn’t have to write things because speaking was so much better, and he was better at it.
Alma, a great prophet, wished that he were an angel, and could declare the word with a trump. He said, “I ought to be content with the things the Lord has allotted me (Alma 29)
President Heber J. Grant dedicated the Laie Hawaii temple and was discouraged he didn’t speak the Hawaiian language like recently passed President Joseph F. Smith.
Even prophets have expectations and dreams, and they aren’t able to fulfill them. And who else is living as close to God as prophets?
You also have dreams, expectations, plans, and ideals.
In Matthew 7, Christ asks, “Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?” [[ Matt-07#^a756ae|Matthew 7:7 ]]
Often in life, we think that we are going to get bread, and what we seem to end up getting is a stone. Sister Jennifer Kearon called it a surprise when she said this in a BYU Devotional in 2024:
You may have a certain “surprise” in your life come to mind that is definitely not bread. It is in fact a stone—the sharpest, heaviest, most crushing boulder you’ve ever encountered. But even so, as you turn to Him with faith, trust, and patience, in time God will help you see the ways He has changed you and how much better you have come to know Him. Truly, through His power, what once appeared to be a stone has miraculously turned out to be bread, and it has all worked together for your good.
We often focus on the wrong thing. We often misunderstand the plans God has for us. We may see something and think He has given us a stone, when really, we just can’t tell that is bread yet.
But that “stone” we get doesn’t matter, because God is with us still. In D&C 68:6 He says:
Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you; and ye shall bear record of me, even Jesus Christ, that I am the Son of the living God, that I was, that I am, and that I am to come.
God has an understanding of the past, present, and future, and He is with us. Even when it seems like all we are getting is stones.
But it’s not just that things won’t go how we want them all the time. We should actually expect that we will have trials and difficulties in our life.
[[ D&C Chapter 058|D&C 58 ]]:3
- Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.
When we look behind us in time, we can clearly see with spiritual eyes where the hand of God guided us through our life.
Even the bad, difficult, painful things now look like a blessing that forged us in the furnace of affliction.
But in the moment, it is very difficult to see how our disappointments and unmet dreams are actually the building blocks for our future!
Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf said in a BYU Devotional in 2025,
The gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of high ideals. Many of us are drawn to the Savior precisely because He lifts our sights and our aspirations high above and beyond anything the world has to offer.
The gospel inspires us to aim high and strive to do amazing things.
But our perspective of what that great thing is does not always align with God’s plan.
Let’s look at a simple example. Suppose, for example, you are inspired to attend graduate school.
You apply to your desired school and wait for an acceptance. You don’t get in.
You not getting in to your desired school does not mean your inspiration was wrong, nor does it mean your plan was bad. It just feels like a stone.
Here’s another example: It’s time for you to get a job, and you start applying. Every job you apply for fills you with hope, you can see yourself performing in that role. You can see how you can help that organization, and how that job will help you grow.
You start to make plans based on what that job will bring, perhaps moving, perhaps adjusting your budget. You try to not hope until you’re sure it is actually going to happen, but it feels righteous, like God has His hand in it.
But then you don’t get the job. You may feel like you have failed, or God has even failed you. He hasn’t. He has given you bread, but it looks like a stone.
When Katya was born, we didn’t know she had Down syndrome, and so it was a surprise. For a brief moment, I wanted God to heal her of her Down syndrome. But I knew that wasn’t the right thing to request. There would be much we would learn from her having this disability.
Rather than hoping and praying that Katya would be healed, I asked for a patient heart, and the most amazing thing happened. I stopped having expectations of her. Instead, I saw every aspect of her life as a blessing and joyous opportunity to praise God. This also led to me not having expectations of my other children, other people I work and serve with, and random strangers I meet. Perhaps some day I will give a talk about how powerful this idea is to not have expectations of anyone! It’s so freeing!
Taking a different perspective has been nothing but a blessing. God has expanded my mind of what is possible.
You might think that an incurable disease makes this easier. And, to a certain extent, it does. Knowing that the only thing that could take away Katya’s 3rd 21st chromosome is a true miracle, does actually make it easier for me to be satisfied with what God has in store.
It actually does help me see the bread, when it could appear like a stone.
But you know what we all have in common? None of us can see the future!
Sister Erin Kramer explains it this way:
The ideal represents how we think things ought to or should be; reality is how things actually are. Though we live our lives in the real world, our dreams and goals are often reflected in ideals. When we experience “a gap between the ideal and the real,”1 we experience uncertainty.
The problem is that our “ideal” situation paints a picture that might be too perfect, or defined too narrowly. We see the future and think we want X, which will make us happy, but the reality is that X is not a single thing, but it is made up of hundreds of little things that we don’t fully understand. It’s not a dichotomous choice: X or Y. It’s a multifaceted choice with hundreds of possible permutations. X is made up of 10x10 options.
We can’t always see how the Lord’s plan is working. When we seek the ideal, that does not mean it is God’s will. Using the word ideal, unfortunately makes it seem like it is God’s will, but that is often not the case.
There’s God’s will, there’s our ideal, and there’s reality.
Sister Kramer describes ideal as our own version of what we want.
How much does this say about our commitment to something that isn’t ours to control? We only experience disappointment if we don’t see the bigger plan. When our mortal and finite minds lock something in as the “ideal,” disappointment is the most likely of any outcomes.
It’s like we see a field of wheat in front of us, and we decide that our bread is going to be made from 1000 specific kernels of wheat. And then when it is made from other kernels, we assume we missed out on something because we set our hearts upon those specific kernels.
We don’t know which job God wants us to have, but we do know he wants us to have something. Glory will come later, but we have to go through trials first.
That may sound like God gives us cryptic messages, and if that’s the case, we are in good company.
Christ was cryptic with his disciples as well.
God always gives us the right messages, the messages and inspiration that we need, right when we need it.
Sister Sarah K. Clark gave a devotional at BYU about Jesus Christ, the Master Teacher. She shared a touching story after having her second child and getting the strong impression, “treat her like she is your last.”
Not to spoil the story, but that child was her last, even though she desperately wanted more. And isn’t that a righteous desire? She said:
I realized that those seven words weren’t just about healing my heart, but were now about realizing that God had a different plan for me. I realized that my life wasn’t an alternative or a backup plan that I was living. No, this was his plan all along. Plan A…I felt a wave of His deep love for me, His daughter, wash over me, and I was reminded again of President Worthen’s plea to all BYU students: “Please let Him love you.”
Let Him love you by acknowledging that He is with you, even in your struggles. Even in your trials.
Think of the story you have if you aren’t healed.
Use all these stones you have received throughout your life to build the foundation of your testimony, for if you eat of this bread, you shall never hunger again, because the Lord is with you.
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