Stretch: How Non-Leaders Shape Workplace Culture Through Honest Communication
I recently gave a workshop called Stretch to a group of secretaries and business office staff. The premise was simple, and it’s one I believe deeply: you don’t need a leadership title to shape the culture of your workplace. You just need the language.
I want to share the core ideas here so you have something to come back to.
It Started With a Look
Here’s the story I opened with. My secretary peeked into my office during a tense discipline meeting. I gave her a look — a withering look — but it wasn’t directed at her. It was about the situation I was dealing with.
That’s not what she saw.
She saw disappointment. She decided she’d done something wrong. And for two weeks, her internal saboteur — that voice we all have — whispered things like “You messed up. He’s disappointed in you.”
She spiraled. And eventually, the anxiety caused her to make a real mistake — one she never would have made otherwise.
Here’s the thing: she had the power to fix it the whole time. She just didn’t have the language.
The Saboteur and the Storyline
We all have an internal saboteur. It’s the voice that takes a look, a tone, a silence, and turns it into a story about how we’re failing. It sounds like us, which is why we believe it. But it’s lying.
What my secretary needed was a way to say: “I think something might be off, and I need to check.” She needed to name her storyline — the narrative she’d invented based on almost no evidence — and bring it into the open before it consumed her.
That’s what the Communication Cards are for.
Seven Phrases That Change Everything
I created a set of seven Communication Cards. Each one gives you the first sentence of a hard conversation — the sentence that’s hardest to say.
I Want to Brag — Celebrate your wins. Stop hiding good work.
I Made a Mistake — Own it out loud. Research from Amy Edmondson at Harvard shows the highest-performing teams don’t make fewer mistakes — they just talk about them more. That’s psychological safety, and it starts with one person being brave enough to go first.
I Need Help Solving a Problem — Vulnerable and actionable. Name the ask.
I Have a Storyline — This is the one that could have saved my secretary two weeks of anxiety. It means: “I made up a narrative in my head, and I need to tell you what it is.” When you name the storyline, the saboteur loses its power.
I Need to Vent — Sometimes you just need to get it out. Name it. Own the emotion.
I Have a Crisis in My Personal Life — Context matters. When something outside of work is affecting your work, people deserve to know — and you deserve grace.
It’s All About the Money — Financial stress is real. You can say it.
You can get the full set of cards at jethro.site/communication-cards.
You Are the Permission Giver
Here’s what I told the group, and it’s what I want you to hear too: leaders can persuade, but they can’t control. Culture doesn’t change because someone at the top writes a new policy. It changes because someone in the hallway decides to be honest first.
You’re in the hallways. You hear what people actually care about. You catch tension before it becomes a crisis. You are the connective tissue of your organization.
When you say “I have a storyline,” you give everyone around you permission to do the same. You don’t need authority to model courage. You just need to go first.
How to Start
If you want to put this into practice, here’s what I’d suggest:
Use them on yourself first. Model honesty before you expect it from others. Brag about something. Admit a mistake. Share your storyline. Let people see you do it.
Name what you notice in others. When a colleague is struggling, try asking: “Hey — does it sound like you have a storyline going?” You’re giving them language they might not have.
Display the cards somewhere visible. Put them on your desk or your door. They become a shorthand that removes the awkwardness of saying hard things.
Let it be imperfect. It will feel awkward at first. That’s fine. The culture shift starts the moment someone tries — not the moment they get it perfect.
Take Responsibility
I’m not asking you to fix your whole organization. I’m asking you to take responsibility for your part. Your conversations. Your honesty. Your willingness to go first.
The leader can’t give everyone permission to be honest. Only you can.
You can view the full presentation here and grab the Communication Cards to start using them today.
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