Education is the responsibility of the parents, and the state merely steps in to help assist them in this vital role. It is well accepted that we view democracy as the vital, essential, and worthwhile governance structure of the future (Baglieri et al., 2011). In order to understand how this really should work, we should start by understanding what Democracy means for the purpose of this paper. From the American School Board Journal, it is defined as “peaceful self-governance in service of the public good as informed by electoral processes” (Collins et al., 2023). The values that we hold dear in a democracy revolve around individualism, pluralism, and freedom to make choices that align with one's own values while not infringing on the rights of others (Mullins, 2019). 

This approach highlights key issues in education. Firstly, family values and goals should be prioritized in the learning system, not seen as undesirable or unapproachable topics. They should be embraced, supported and amplified. School standards should adapt to each family's desires, as students are part of their families.

Perhaps the best reason for ensuring that family values are placed higher on our priority list is that defining values is so difficult. It is so difficult to come to an agreement about what we should teach (Westheimer & Kahne, 2004) that we often go to the lowest common denominator and reduce our civics education to just teaching facts and dates (Pondiscio, 2019). While Dewey has done much good in shaping our narrative around this idea, “scholars and practitioners have interpreted his ideas in multiple ways, so no single conception emerges. In large part, this diversity of perspectives occurs because the stakes are so high. Conceptions of ‘good citizenship’ imply conceptions of the good society” (Westheimer & Kahne, 2004). We have to narrow it down to get to the basic unit of society, the family. 

It is because the stakes are so high that the family must be the primary driver of values. In truth, they are the primary drivers of values, regardless of the role that we take in education. While there are many exciting stories of teachers who impacted students’ lives so much that they made great changes, the reality is that teacher influence pales in comparison to parental influence, so that even if educators try hard to change beliefs and values of students, they will still be more influenced by their parents. This point is driven home by the story of JeVon McCormick, son of a prostitute and her pimp, who came from humble beginnings and did not have a single teacher that helped him define who he was or what he believed in, despite their great efforts (Jones, 2018).

While Westheimer & Kahne (2004) categorize citizens as Personally Responsible, Participatory, or Justice Oriented, I propose a different type of citizen: the Values-Driven Citizen. This individual operates aligned to his or her own values and possesses the skills to engage in meaningful dialogue and action. Unlike the "justice-oriented" approach, which can be prescriptive and unilateral, the values-driven approach recognizes the importance of collaboration and the ability to stay true to one's own values while respecting the values of others.

Education in a democracy should aim to cultivate values-driven citizens who are equipped not just with strong personal values but also with the skills and opportunities to test and enact those values. This approach respects individual autonomy and encourages collaborative engagement, which are both essential qualities for the functioning of a democratic society (Westheimer & Kahne, 2004). 

The Four Pillars of Democratic Education

Establishing Values: First and foremost, education in a democracy must provide students with the opportunity to establish their own values. This is not about indoctrination but about creating a safe space where students can explore, question, and form their own belief systems, which is heavily influenced by parents and the home (Ingram et al., 2007). 

Testing Values: Once values are established, students need the space to act on these values. Values are abstract concepts until they are tested in real-world scenarios. It's through this testing that values gain meaning and depth (Thirlby, 2022).

Adult Guidance: The role of educators is crucial here. They should be caring, supportive, and challenging in a way that encourages students to question and affirm their own values. The goal is not for students to adopt the values of their teachers but to solidify their own. Students should not know what their teachers' values are because of the power and control that teachers wield over students on a daily basis. Unfortunately, much of this adult guidance was actually indoctrination and coercion instead of unbiased support (Ansell & Lindvall, 2013). 

Skills Development: Finally, students need to develop the skills necessary to enact or implement their values. This includes critical thinking, communication, collaboration, civics & values-based education and problem-solving skills that empower them to participate in and make meaningful changes in their communities (“Frustration in the Schools Teachers Speak out on Pay, Funding, and Feeling Valued,” 2019).

The challenge is finding the balance when the student and parents are in conflict about different values, and how the teacher responds. 

For instance, if a student from a blue-collar family aims for a white-collar career, schools should support their aspirations. The same applies to a white-collar student not wanting college. “Most Americans do not realize that citizenship is the primary political office under a constitutional government” (Adler, 1987). And while that is true, families are the core units that make up a democracy.

Education should respect the values and beliefs of those served. Even extreme views have constitutional protection in the United States. A major challenge is people's disinterest in education. Kids enjoy learning but hate school due to its conformity and alignment with others' values. By respecting family values, we can rekindle interest in education.

Consider Apple Inc.'s iPhone introduction; it drove demand for faster mobile broadband speeds, forcing carriers to upgrade networks. When families battle schools over values, they feel attacked. Educators should support families in defining their values, enriching the educational system. This would parallel Apple’s innovation that drove carriers to act a certain way. If schools really wanted to get parents on board, they would stop subverting their values, stop fighting with them, and work with them. 

A good example is a hot topic right now around banned books. 

books that include diverse characters, primarily characters of color and LGBTQ+ characters, were overwhelmingly subject to book bans. While recent efforts to diversify books for children and teens has led to greater visibility in libraries and classrooms, ongoing efforts to ban books with historically marginalized identities push against progress as countless books that include characters with diverse racial, sexual, and gender identities are pulled from school and library shelves. (“School Book Bans,” 2023)

What this article fails to represent is that these issues are glamorizing lifestyles that do not align with the values of the families requesting they be removed from the school. Parents feel that schools are making “books available in schools, whether in a school or classroom library or as part of a curriculum, [are] selected by librarians and educators as part of the educational offerings to students” (“School Book Bans,” 2023). This idea is where the problem lies: Parents obviously object to schools making educational offerings against their families’ values. 

The Real Problem with Adopting Family Values in Education

Naturally, educators bristle at these suggestions that they support the values of the families they serve. Unfortunately, they typically bristle for the same reasons. 

All their reasons come down to just two main issues: 

1. The educator does not believe that the parents have the capability to make the "correct" decisions about values for the child. 

That idea is simply a more justifiable and acceptable variation of the real reason why educators dislike this idea: 

2. The educator does not agree with the values that the parents would instill in the child. 

Many educators may not agree with a family’s values, but it's important to remember that teaching students is the main focus. A three-layered approach to decision-making can help students understand their choices and values. This includes looking at content, context, and culture.

A Three-Layered Approach

A values-based citizen requires a thoughtful, patient approach to helping students learn to understand, express, debate, and hold fast to their own values.

Drawing upon the research of Restorative Circles we can greatly impact the culture of schools and the way that we discuss the values that our students develop (Hickman, 2022). 

I offer a three-layered approach to help schools manage these challenging conversations. Granted, much work is needed to further develop these ideas, but this is a solid starting point that supports family values, helps students define their own values, and gives teachers ample opportunity to help children process situations, decisions and values-alignment. 

First, consider the content of a decision. Ask students about their choices without considering other factors. Was it right or wrong? This helps them think about decisions in isolation and applies to all ages.

Next, bring in context. This helps students understand how different situations can influence their decisions. Encourage them to act according to their values, regardless of the situation. Context is crucial for understanding if a previously believed right or wrong choice still holds true in a new setting.

Lastly, consider culture. This involves evaluating how family values align with school values. Students should think about how their actions impact the culture of their surroundings.

When students comply with school rules without understanding why, nobody wins. Instead, teachers should work with parents to help students define their values and make thoughtful decisions based on content, context, and culture.

When teachers and parents are partners, everyone can win. If teachers try to change kids' beliefs against their parents' wishes, it creates conflict.

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